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I called my GP this morning as I have been having big problems trying to sleep,and it has led to night time eating which is also quite distressing. I tend to over think and this uni situation is on my mind and at night it is ten times worse and I just can't switch off. So I have been given some sleeping pills. I really love my GP she is the one doctor I have seen that really gets anorexia in an almost scary way like she has been their too. I told her the situation with uni and she said to me " I didn't say this, but you should get a lawyer" I am hoping it won't come to that, but on Wednesday I will be sending an email and my community team that I still see will be sending another letter in with the email. I need to hear this week not in a few weeks time I am meant to start uni in less than a month!!! I hate not being able to sleep it is so important for good mental and physical well being.
Bargains
I like myself a good old bargain. Especially being a student where I know I need to watch the pennies. Well yesterday I was out with Mum and Dad and we happened to be near a sainsburys and it was close to closing time so... the perfect opportunity to get lots of reduced food. I used to this a lot when I lived more close to supermarkets but if you go a few hours before they finish trading they reduce all the fresh produce. Well this is what I managed to pick up:
Most of the veg was 30p-this was 200g organic carrots, 250g fresh beetroot, 4 taste the difference flat mushrooms, fruit salad of mango, pineapple and grapes, bunched parsley, fresh watermelon.
Non-reduced stuff was natural cottage cheese, 3 nut butters! they have a 1/3 of their nut butters at the mo and I stocked up on almond, cashew, and chocolate chip peanut butter ( I am addicted to the chocolate chip one!!), some museli, and pink lady apples, also not pictured was a cherry pie for my Dad which was also reduced to 59p. All in all this came too £9.80. I used some of the carrots in a stew I made this evening, and had some of the mushrooms stuffed with cheese and seeds.
Exercise today was one of my long bike rides. But it wasn't as good as I have done before and was a bit dissapointed. Did 40 miles and an average speed of 16mph their were some hills. but I think I need a rest day as my legs felt so heavy. So tomorrow will be a leg rest day! I am at work all day so won't get the anxious feeling that I sometimes get when I am not exercising as my job is fairly active on my feet all the time. For lunch today after my ride I had a meal I haven't had in a while, quick, easy and fairly cheap!! Beans on toast with some low fat cheddar:
I met a friend for coffee this afternoon which was nice. Told her about my Uni situation and she thinks its ridiculous. She said how much better I look from when I did the access course and that I look healthy!! Even a few months back those words would have shuddered down my spine, but I want recovery so bad.
I am nearly at a healthy weight and I really never thought that would be possible. I thought my life was the ed that it was me. I thought it would have killed me, I didn't want a womanly body, I wanted to stay childlike. But now I want a life so badly, I want to have kids one day, I want to lead a normal life hopefully be an inspiration to others and help others overcome their problems.
I spent some time this evening cooking my favourite dish a Morocan chickpea stew:
This time I added some peppers, I usually use loads of mushrooms but peppers were on offer for £1 in asda. originally recipe is here.
Well I am back at work tomorrow, at least it will keep me distracted. Hoping I sleep okay tonight.
anyone else make meals to freeze? favourite thing to cook? do you find rest days difficult?
