Great week and a milestone

Sorry for the lack of blogging recently. I have just had a busy week. even my evenings have been busy. It all started on Friday the 13th... Known to many as

A day that means bad news. However my day was pretty awesome. Firstly had the last part of my training for a health care assistant job and afterwards i was able to go to an interview that i didnt think I could go too as my training overlaped. However my training finished earlier so I called the other job up and asked if I could attend the interview. I was unprepared, but I managed to nail the interview. I even had to speak to a group of teenagers about a social action project... However I got the job, and proud and happy I was.

 I never thought it possible that even a few months ago I would be working as a youth worker, let alone attending an interview at the whim.

In other news my injury is loads better and am pretty much back to all my usual activities. Went on a 50 mile cycle ride yesterday and felt so so strong, best I have ever ridden. Although I am sick of people commenting on my small size and asking how much I weigh- no joke!!! I mean you would never ask someone who was obese what their weight was. I find it strange as I am at the highest weight I have been at for nearly 8 years!!!! I myself still feel "big", but to others I am not so maybe it is all in my head . I also decided to weigh myself this morning, and my BMI for the first time in goodness knows how many years is in the healthy range. I didn't feel awful as I thought I would do BUT I felt proud, proud that I have done this on my own.

I never thought it would be possible that I would be able to eat what I am eating, be the weight I am now, be happy, have an amazing boyfriend, have things in common with people that isn't having an eating disorder in common, to have friends that love me for who I am and to be able to converse with them with everyday conversations. I have put on around 10 kg since January time, many of my clothes no longer fit me. Alhough difficult I know its a good thing and I can now get new clothes:p  I may not like my legs, I may still look in the mirror and feel big but they are strong, I can cycle, run, and swim and most importanly I feel happy. On my last ride someone commented on how much  I have improved, my speeds are the best they have ever been.  I want to be able to share with people that recovery is possible that you can go from the lowest, deepest dark hole, to that of a functional person who has a whole life ahead of them. After about 5 hospital admissions I am happy to say that I have made it through. I know I still have some way to go, gaining weight is almost the easy part its dealing with my head that takes the work. However I didn't get ill overnight so it isn't going to disappear overnight so I just have to be patient.

After all that.... This weekend has been pretty awesome too. I spent it at Andys we made pizzas on Saturday night from scratch-yep that included the dough!!!

 Pizza ingredients-yep that is mango:p 

Andy was such a good dough kneader!!

We even made cheesy dough sticks. 

My toppings included goats cheese, peppers, mushrooms, mango and emmental cheese. Oh and a bbq sauce base so so nice. 

We are making them again next Sunday for the rest of the family and letting them pre order them:p think I we may do some garlic bread too.  I have never made my own pizza dough before but they were so so nice, and the only ingredients in the dough was whole-wheat and white flour, pinch of salt, two tablespoons of olive oil, and water. It was so much fun too, can have whatever toppings you fancy. 

Have you ever made pizza? 

for those that have gained weight how did you feel when you got their? Also how long did it take to get your periods back? 

cycling my way to the top

hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, I have had a pretty awesome week and the weekend is going ace too.

I've had two exciting things that I can't wait to share with you. The first thing happened on Thursday when I was at the pool, went to a general swim (no lanes), wasn't actually overly busy so got in about 40 minutes of swimming. When I ws getting changed this little girl came up to me and said "How do you swim so fast"? lol okay she was only 7 years old but it made me smile a lot.

Then the next day, I went on a 2 hour ride and their was loads of other cyclists out which after a few with strange helmets passed me by realised it was a time trial. I so want one of those cool helmets, of course I want this pink one:

Alot of the cyclists I saw out had helmets to match their bikes and clothes. Anyway I was in awe of how fast they were racing, on my way back from my ride I saw this British cycling car pass by me then around a few minutes later the car stopped at this guy got out his car and pulled his hand out indicating me to stop. I did I actually thought I was in trouble lol. Well the guy said to me why am I not out training with my local cycling group. Told him that I actually going out tomorrow:p Mentioned I was training for a triathlon and he told me to get into road racing, said he has seen me out a lot. Then he gave me his card:

 of course had to take a picture and post it on facebook:p

Man the adrenilin I had on the way back was insane. Never felt so pleased with myself, my average for the 30 mile ride was 17.4. Felt awesome.

I'm excited for tomorrow when me and my boyfriend are going out with my local cycling group. Today has consisted of lots of rest and carb loading. We cooked one of my favourite meals 

 Paella!!!

 Wholemeal hot cross bun

 Sweet potato with cottage cheese and peanut butter

Wholewheat bagel with philedelphia and chocolate spread and some jam and peanut butter

This was actually the first time I have tried peanut butter on a sweet potato. I have seen it on many blogs and have I admit been scared to try it, because of my fear of fats. But I've realised that fats are needed to be healthy and that the ED can bugger off:p Plus it tasted really nice. 

Tried any new foods recently? 

Any Easter plans? 

Cycling fuel

Howdy, hope everyone has had a fab weekend. I have done over 100 miles of cycling this weekend, and it got me thinking to do a post on the best foods to eat whilst on the bike. I have tried many things:

It often depends on what sort of ride I am doing. If its a fairly easy pace then something like a nakd bar, and a banana will do every half hour or so. In terms of nutrition I tend to go by the rule of your body weight in kg per hour as how many carbs that I will need. Although if the pace is harder, your body needs more. This is just a general rule as I know many cyclists who will have far less and some who will have more. As I don't tend to stop when I am cycling fast, I need something that is portable and also easy to digest. This has been somewhat of trail and error. But my favourite things to eat mid ride are:

Yep, sweets. They are easy to digest, soft to chew give you a much needed sugar boost. Although not the most healthiest, .when your burning 500 plus calories an hour you need carbs and you need them quick:p 

I find that some cereal bars will give me stomach cramps, especially if the pace is intense. However some of my favourite bars are as follows:

Torq energy bars

Powerbar

Trek bars

I like the Trek bars towards the end of a ride as they contain 11 grams of protein, so you can start the recovery process on the bike. 

I have also been experimenting with energy gels. Some don't tend to agree with me, and I also don't like the taste of many of them. But so far I have found the Torq and GU energy gels to be the best, and I swear they help me with all the hills around Devon. 

Elevation

(Last long ride) 

The next thing that I will be trying out will be some carbohydrate drinks, as when I don't get a chance to eat or if the intensity is too high they are the easiest things to get fuel to your body. 

It has taken me a long time to realise how important nutrition is, and more importantly that it really does make a difference to your rides. However its not just what you eat on the bike, but also what you eat after that is doubly important. I will do another post on refuelling.  My speeds are best they have ever been,  and I  guess I learnt the hard way about what not properly fuelling your  body can do, hence a stress fracture!!! 

If you exercise more than an hour, what are your favourite carbs? (i've had many bad experiences with dried fruit, more so in running though)

Any foods you stay away from? 

Running shoes

I hope everyone in the UK is enjoying the wonderful weather today, is so nice to not wear multiple layers to leave the house in, and be able to get some vitamin D I always feel so much happier in the summer!!

This is the 3^rd pair of running shoes I have bought in around 6 months!!! And its not because they have been overused. The first pair I got was bought at the end of last summer when I was first starting to take up running, I went to a sports shop. They put me on this machine and told me I over pronanted so needed a stability shoe. After having a brief relapse and stopping running I started again around November time, started to get ITB problem. Few months later  I visited a specialist running shop they didn’t do a proper gait analayis just looked at the way I walked said no way I was an over pronator so got a neutral shoe. Then had a stress fracture. I don’t know if it was the shoe that caused it, more like an overuse injury, or perhaps a mixture  of the both. But I didn’t want to start running properly until I had a proper gait analysis done. 

So I visited this specialist running shop after doing some googling, they did a gait analysis. And OMG the guy who I spoke to was seriously amazing, even if I went away I would come back to the same shop to see him. He firstly “chatted” to me asking me about the injuries, past history. I told him that I used to dance, and about my issues with osteoporosis and anorexia. He said that the shoe I had was too heavy for  me, he made reference to my frame size and said I needed a shoe that gave me flexibility in my feet. 

We did a few squat tests and he did pick up that I have fairly weak hips, I do have osteoporosis in my hips so this may be the reason. Then was running on the treadmill barefoot, it felt strange at first, this was also videoed so he could see my running style. I am apparently a forefoot striker. When I was running on the treadmill it showed that I didn’t over pronate, however when I ran on the treadmill with shoes on I did. After trying pair of pair of trainers on where the guy could tell straight away if the shoe wasn’t right. We settled for a neutral shoe, as many of the stability shoes were too heavy for me and I didn’t have any flexibility when running in them. Because I am a fore foot striker I need a shoe that have excellent forefoot cushioning, flexibility, and stability.  I knew when I was running in these

Adidas Supernova glide 4

That they felt right, I could move my feet freely and just felt so light in them. I must have spent nearly two hours chatting to the guy and finding the right shoes!!! And I am so glad I did. I feel more confident when I am running too. It also didn't cost me anything to have the gait analysis done, they charge £10 but if you buy a pair of shoes it costs you nothing. 

On Wednesday was my first little run in them. As I’m training for a triathlon I did a 20 mile bike ride followed by a 1 mile run. It was also the first time running straight of the bike, it felt strange for the first minute or two. But once I was running it felt so good, I can’t describe how wonderful it felt to run. I came back downed some strawberry soya milk followed by one of my paellas.

This week has been a pretty good week, had a nice catch up with a friend in nandos,  had a good swim lesson, managed a rest day yesterday, had a trip to waitrose with my boyfriend and treated myself to some food doctor granola its so good!!!, especially over porridge and banana:

I am actually quite relieved their isn’t a Waitrose too close by as I would seriously spend far too much money!!! I've also been doing some baking,  these 

Peanut butter protein bombs. 

And these

Taste just like the banana bread nakd bars

I’m looking forward to the weekend too as have my Boyfriend over and tonight we are making bellini cocktails. These are my favourite kind, I have expensive taste:p  although not too many as we are going on a ride together tomorrow morning. I've just come back from a 57 mile cycle ride over many hills, my laps were around 16mph, it just shows how strong my body is getting, and will hopefully continue to get strong. I am trying to use this as motivation, as my body image is starting to get difficult again, I'm looking in the mirror an not liking what I see. Determined to plod on though, despite what the ed tells me. 

Have you ever had a gait analysis? 

any plans for the weekend?

Are you  a cocktail drinker? 

Listening to my body

I think the comment from my Dad has limited its impact on me, and am not feeling quite so bad. I think men in general can be quite insensitive.

The weather this weekend has really been so nice, and is defiantly the perfect weather for cycling!!! On Saturday I went on a nice cycle with my boyfriend to Totnes, which was around 22 miles. We stopped off half way at a cafe, which catered both of our needs. Scones with jam and clotted cream for Andy and some wholemeal toast and jam with a soya latte for me. The toast was so thick though that I saved half and  I took it home with me and had it for my lunch later on. It actually tasted just as nice, pressed reheat on my toast and alas

random plate of roasted kabocha squash, aspargus, kale, red onion and chickpeas, with blobs of cottage cheese. 

Yesterday I went to a body pump class, I haven't been for about 4-5 months. The arm workouts nearly killed me, but I did enjoy it and am going to try and go once a week, as strength training has really been helping my cycling.However today have a bad case of DOMS. 

In view of my March Goals, I have been trying to listen to my body more which is a hard task, but feel I am sloly getting better at this. I have realised that my body still isn't strong enough to run, as I was getting the pain again in my knee. So am going to rest it for another 2 weeks, which includes no running:( I guess I can focus more on cycling and swimming. Although I still really suck at swimming. However I am really loving cycling at the moment, and love getting stronger on my bike. In April time I will be doing a 10 mile time trial with a cycling club I was member of and my goal for that is for a 20mph average, which depending on how hilly the course is I think is achievable. After I've got used to my bike for a bit will be having some tri bars fitted. 

Exercise plan this week is 4x cycle rides, 4x Swims, and two strength sessions. Today was my easy day where I swam for 1000 metres and did some walking. I've also been using the foam roller daily which has been killing me, but guess good pain. 

I've also been trying to increase my fat intake, I probably eat minimal fat. I know its a really great anti-inflammatory,  so been adding nut butter to my oats and in my cereal snack bowls: 

Oats, banoffee flavour protein powder,and almond butter

Bran flakes with yogurt, cottage cheese, and almond butter. 

I think nut butter is  defiantly my favourite fat. 

Favourite fat? 

Ever done a body pump class? 

are you good at listening to your body? 

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

So, the week is nearly over, and I am feeling a  little bit wobbly emotionally at the moment. Stresses of my job, waiting for my CRB, dealing with weight gain, thinking over people whom I have lost is turning my head in to world spin. 

Anyway, my ever so lovely Dad whom has a very bad habit of saying the wrong things to me, has done it again!!! We went out for lunch today with my mum, at this carvery place. I love it because you get so much free veg, if anyone is wondering what a carvery is, its basically where they give you meat or veggie alternatives I had two yorkshire puddings and you get to have as much fresh veg, stuffing, potatoes etc as you like. So I piled my plate high with veggies, and some stuffing. Roast potatoes aren't a safe option for me. Well to cut a long story short, my mum said she would like to go sainsburys and I said I wouldn't mind picking myself up some things from sainsburys as was cooking me and andy something tonight. My Dad then tried to make a "joke" that surely I wouldn't need anything tonight with "all that I have ate", this made me feel awful, greedy, fat, huge. He knows my issues around food, I am trying to rationalise the comment in my head and not let it effect me, but it has. I remember when I as younger he would make silly comments like "eating again" geez its no wonder I developed issues with food. My mum was very supportive and we spent some time in sainsburys and I got some things for this evening. 

I guess the moral of this tale, is it is just that words. Even though I know rationally what I ate was more calorie dense than my Dad's which was piled high with roast potatoes,  I know reading this seems a bit silly to an outsider but I am fairly over sensitive, and do take things personally. I just I guess have to learn to deal with comments. So instead of wallowing thought I would blog instead.

On to more positive news, I am loving my new bike. Managed to understand the gearing, and not have any clipless moments. Oh boy I am going so fast though, one lap I did was an average of 17.9mph, I did 12 miles in 40 minutes. This is good as I have found a route that I can practise for my triathlon as this happens to be 12 miles. Going up hills is also a breeze. My power food this morning was:

Oats cooked with soya milk, chocolate powder, and a banana

Defiantly rocket fuel!! Was comparing a ride from back at the end of January, check out the difference in my lap times 

Laps

Split	Time	Distance	Avg Speed	Time	Distance	Avg Speed
1	1:01:09	16.76	16.4	1:09:27	17.56	15.2
2	40:21	12.03	17.9	41:17	10.93	15.9
3	22:28	4.90	13.1	24:27	4.80	11.8

I did some foam rolling this morning which hurt like a buggery, but guess its good pain. 

How do you deal with unhelpful comments? 

Do you love seeing your times improve? 

Favourite rocket fuel? 

WIAW-The cycling addition

Hello blogging world, first please check out jenns blog and all the other posts for some foodie inspiration. I know its the green addition this month, but unforgivably their is nothing green. This was what I consumed on my 50 mile cycle ride yesterday. But before that I have to share with you, my latest purchase:

Giant Avail Advanced 2

Isn't it pretty???

I had the pink bar tape added as extra, to make it my bike. Full carbon frame, shimano ultegra groupset. 

I brought it from a local bike shop you were really so helpful, well for the money I paid for it that had good reason to be hehe. 

I went for a short 20 minute ride, mainly around my village lol, as wanted to get used to the new gears, and pedals. As although I have ridden clipless for quite a while, these ones you can only clip in on one side so is taking a while to clip in and out. So excited to take it out properly tomorrow, I'm gonna go so fast. Is so lush to ride, not gonna be able to sleep tonight with excitement!!!

Anyway on to my eats:

Breakfast: 

I needed carbs and more carbs to fuel my ride, so had 60g of oats cooked with some natural yogurt, chopped banana, and topped with granola and loads of maple syrup

I had some fruit before I set of, and on the ride consumed soreen banana malt loaf, torq energy bar, dried mango, alpen cereal bar, and this bad boy:

I swear this powered me up the hill, and it was banoffee flavour and tasted so nice

When I came back, I downed some alpro soya chocolate milk

I still prefer the strawberry flavoured milk though. 

Shortly after I had one of my staple recovery meals:

Poached egg, beans, rye bread with almond butter, and some mushrooms.

 I was actually still hungry after this!!!, and hunger has been something I find difficult to admit too, and can rarely say when I am hungry. But as I am trying to listen to my body more, I made myself a sort of dessert. I had some cottage cheese, yogurt, chopped apple and granola, I forget to take a picture though. This seem to fill the spot, and held me over for a few hours until dinner where I was too tired to cook so microwaved a lentil curry with brown rice that I had previously made and froze

Favourite thing you ate? mine has to be my breakfast granola on porridge is so nice!!

Bought anything nice?

March-Really!?

I really can't believe how quick the months are going. Time goes far too quickly to be worrying about the little things in life, which is why now I try and make the most of everyday. I am very much an early riser, getting up at 5-6am is the norm for me. I prefer to work out at that time, sets me up for the day:)

Well this morning I had to sort out a charity bag, and I managed to ditch a pair of jeans. I have many clothes in very small sizes, and had a look through my closet and saw these jeans which are a stupidly small size so I decided to ditch them. I do still have others and am no sure why I am still holding on to them but is a step in the right direction. It has been years since I have even felt brave enough to think about chucking them away, as their is always that "what if?", but I know deep down I never want to go back to that place. I like my legs strong thankyou very much:p, and so what if a size 6 doesn't fit me.

Of course getting rid of these jeans means that I can buy another pair:D

Well thought I would recap on my February Goals and see how I have done

• Gain some weight, I think last month I gained about 1kg, I have to do it slowly. My goal is to try and gain at least 2kg this month. (Think I have gained about another 1kg, I realise that I need to do it slowly if it is to be sustained)
• Work with the reasons behind my anorexia. (I had a fairly positive appointment with a psychologist that I see and am going to be having some sessions with a lady from EDA very soon) 
• Listen to my body( I'm injured from running:( from doing too much too soon and running through pain)- (This I feel has been better, I managing to have one full rest day a week and haven't been running outside because I know my body isn't ready for it)
• Have some fun, have cocktails and not feel bad. (I have had some nice time's this month, met my friend for pancakes, having pancakes on pancake day actually hasn't occured for around 7 years or more, and I even had a scary one for me with caramelised apple an salted butter caramel sauce, I can't describe how tasty it was and valentines day involved lots of cocktails)
• Do some baking ( I have been baking a few things, made some gingerbread scones and some carrot cupcakes)
• Have more fats. Need to have more omega 3 and 6's to help with my inflammation.  ( I have been slacking a bit in the olde fat department as trying to focus on more carbs and protein)

I think my goals for this month will be fairly similar, but more focused on plans to do some triathlons at the end of the summer

March Goals

• Have a recovery shake/ Bar after every workout

I prefer this one I think to the old runners staple of chocolate milk, I just wish they did a banana one,!!! and it really does HELP. I am able to recover so much more faster, my legs don't feel heavy, I feel great, and because sometimes I do two workouts a day it is crucial to repair glycogen levels in the 30 minute window. 

• Gain another 1kg this month
• Get stronger in swimming. 
• Ride 60 plus miles comfortably on the bike
• Make sure I have 1 rest day a week. 

I had a double brekkie today, as was riding out to sort out my jabs for my new job and too look at a new bike

Wholewheat bagel with jam and goats cheese- I can never decide so have the best of both worlds

Then once I was back had dorset cereals cherries and berries museli with almond milk, and some strawberries with cottage cheese. 

This evening me and my boyfriend are going out for dinner and I am hoping they do the carvery with the veggie nut roast, want to get my fix of yorkshire puds too!!!

My cycling is going from strength to strength. It feels so damn good!! I am now realising how important proper fuelling is, running in empty is no fun at all. I had  a new energy bar to try: 

These were easy to digest and gave me the much need energy, to power through my ride ate this at half way mark. Their also vegan and contain no artificial colours. 

27 miles- Average speed 17.2mph. 

It was a fairly flat course, but was practising my racing skills using some fartlek training,a nd going on the drops more. Think I am going to try and include some intervals in my next ride. 

Favourite energy bar? 

Have you ever given away some clothes that no longer fit you? how did you feel? 

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