I want to blog about low self esteem. It is something that I haven't talked about before. But it something that I have to battle with everyday of my life.
I am not sure how it started, but I know from a young age I also had a low opinion of myself and felt that I wasn't liked that somehow I was in adequate. I think a lot of it stems from being bullied at school. Being picked on, I got called ugly as a child, my hair was frizzy, I was never allowed to wear what was in fashion I wasn't clever or talented at everything. In later years I got called "fat" and "thunder thighs". Yep and you can see why I developed an eating disorder. I could also never say what I wanted for fear of upsetting people and has led me in some tricky situations where I was taken advantage of:(
From my knowledge of low self esteem. You have a certain base line that you view yourself from. for instance my baseline is " I am not worthy" and that "people dislike me". But you see this is not true people do like me, I am worthy of many things. I have to continuously each day challenge these thoughts use CBT that I have learnt from therapy. I sometimes have to ask recognition from people that they do like me, which I hate doing BUT sometimes can't help myself. It's not for attention its just that the low opinion I have of myself doesn't change overnight. It has taken me a long while to just be able to challenge the thoughts. It happened to me whilst I was away and I am still struggling with my thoughts at the moment but I know their not true and that I have done anything wrong. I just hope one day I will have high self esteem
My advice to anyone who struggles with self esteem is to challenge the negative thinking pattern because the more you do the easier it gets and it is just that negative. So when you get a niggling thought enter your head that you've done something wrong, you don't believe in yourself, or just feeling wobbly over things.
Argue with that little niggling voice and stand up to it! Think of all the people who have in your life you love you for all they are, the people who reply to your blog, your friends, your family, your pets.
on to other things...
Long bike ride this morning, did 40 miles an average speed of 15.4mph which I think is better than my last ride. think taking a few days of helped. I had a different breakfast of baked beans on toast, I was wanting variety and the change was good. When I came back I had a wholewheat wrap with some bean chilli that I made a while ago and yes I had to google how to fold a wrap:p I even watched a youtube video
I haven't had wraps in ages and made a nice change.
This evening I will be working on the busiest evening of the week! a saturday night from 7-12. At least it goes fast, just hope their isn't too many drunk people to deal with.
Do you struggle with low self esteem? What has helped you?
Wraps yay or nay?