I have come to realise that you are better of without bitchy so called friends/girls that you come across. Their are 3 bitchy girls on my course who seem to not really care about other people's feelings so I have come on here to vent somewhat. One girl has been funny with me because I have asked her twice for some money back which I had lent to her okay it was £3.50 but when your a student it is a lot its not like I was asking for 20p back. Anyway to cut a long story short I havent asked her again for it back and I know she has no intention of asking me for it back, and through a conversation on facebook with another girl she made some snide commnet aksing for 3 p back which was aimed at ME. It all seems very silly and I thought that stuff like that only happened at school, and today when I was going in to the car she didnt want me to sit in the front seat of her car well she said that alice gets car sick. The thing is its only these few girls. everyone else is really nice but they seem to like being horrible to people throughout the year they have bitched about certain people and very clearly made it clear that they don't like people. My friend katy at college isn;t like it at all and I know I haven't done anything wrong. But it has made me doubt myself that I am not a nice person and getting all those negative thoughts about myself.
However from reflection I have realised so what? why would I want to be friends with people like that? who like to bitch are blatenly nasty to others. Okay so this other girl on my course is fairly slack always arrives late rarely hands work on in time but I wouldn't just not speak to her and exclude her from things. I have made friends on my course and I like the friends that I have got, it only makes it difficult for me because I travel up with them in the car and I am naturally shy so sometimes conversation is awkward. It has upset me a bit but I have some extremely caring thoughtful, kind, amazing friends in my life who aren't bitchy in a nasty okay females generally are bitchy its in our nature:p but you can be bitchy in a nice way and I am not going to let 3 girls make me feel bad about myself-*keep repeating this to myself*. My course is nearly over so I want have to deal with them for much longer and I will stay in contact with the friends I have made on the course and hopefully meet lots of new people in Bournemouth, and I don't think I am nasty person I know I am caring and thoughtful, I have spoken about this with staff in the past. ooh maybe CBT is actually starting to work I can see how my thought process has changed somewhat!
oh other fairly good news. I got a distinction overall for my exam unit on criminology, although I am slightly disappointed that I didn't get all distinction on my exam and was made worse by one of the *girls* who said to me "get all distinctions then did you?" just because I usually get all distinctions doesn't mean I do well in exams I never do my mind goes blank. I do have another exam and we can choose the best one but it doesn't really matter because I got a distinction overall for the unit and even if I get all distinctions for my next exam I will still get the same grade overall.
I am going to go on a bike ride this afternoon really bloudly hope I can dodge the rain lol and then I will be going out for a few drinks. Glenn is out tonight and I can't work out whether he likes me or not, at the moment we are just friends and I do feel like a teenage girl again getting butterflies in my stomach before I see him. but what will be will be