Saturday, 17 March 2012

Swim lesson and feeling hopefull

Woop, its the weekend!!! I am especially happy that it is the weekend because, I am no longer working in a pub!!! No more drunken louts shouting at me, no more not having chance to pee because the bar is so busy. I did hand my notice in early, as I just couldn't cope with working anymore evening shifts especially on a Saturday night.It was starting to effect my mental health and some shifts I was going home crying to my Mum as feel so out of place at work, and was hard to manage eating enough as we weren't even allowed breaks for a six hour shift.  My CRB is now in the printing stage so it shouldn't be too long away, and is nice to have a few weeks off until I start my new job as a health care assistant which I really can't wait for. Want to be doing a job that is enjoyable and I really enjoy helping people.

On Wednesday I had my first swim lesson, I was pretty nervous beforehand... even more so when she asked me to swim some lengths. My stroke was awful I was out of breath after doing less than 50 metres!!!! I bet she thought "This is gonna be hard!!!". The first part of the lesson was spent building my confidence up in the water, my bad habit was not putting my head in right. So spent around 10 minutes working on just gliding in the water:

Basically this, it felt strange at fisrt but I soon got the hang of looking face down in the water We had to firstly get my position right out of the water. The rest of the lesson was spent doing some drills with a kickboard, with one arm on the float the other down by my leg and kicking on the side. Then the arms were brought in, with one arm doing the front crawl. We focused also on my breathing, and lastly was my head action and trying to get me to body roll. When I lift my head to breathe I am not body rolling, I was SINKING haha. So at least I know where I was going wrong. However at the end of the lesson she said she could already see an improvement in my form, I apparently have the speed but just not the technique, and need to work on my arm strength. I also did some backstroke drills but not using my legs just my arms which was really hard work!!! 

I've been to the pool everyday since my lesson, and feel that I am getting the hang of body rolling, and trying not to reduce my drag when I lift my head out of the water. I've also been using more arm weight machines in the gym and did a body pump and combat class today. I actually feel like I am actually swimming, not just paddling in the water hehe. However my swim endurance is rubbish compared to the bike. Can easily go for a 45 mile cycle ride and think nothing of it. But I can barely do less than a mile in the pool. Even after swimming a few lengths have to stop for a minute or two. Swimming I swear makes me the hungriest out of all three, and I'm only in the pool for 30 minutes!!!!


I need to talk about something eating disordered so feel free to skip by. I think I have spoken about this before, but I feel what kept me so controlled and ill by the anorexia was that I was scared of losing my identity.I didn't know who I was without the anorexia, I was so scared of losing something that practically nearly killed me, but I felt I had nothing in my life.

However right now I feel quite damn good about my recovery, my future. I now longer see myself as just my eating disorder. Admittedly it is still their, and I probably know that to some degree it will always be their. But I am starting to see myself as an athelete, a person, a student. People are knowing me know as an athelete. I was in Tescos the other day and bumped into a guy from the bike shop I got my bike from he is also a triathelete and does spinning classes and felt so good to speak to him about bikes, cycling, training. I did lol at myself as felt like a typical athlete walking around tescos with a load of bagels and bananas. Where in the past I guess i have felt like a "typical anorexic" walking around with some apples and salads in my hands. I know which one I would like to be associated with:p And today after my swim session, I was chatting to this women I think we were talking about the lanes in the pool and she was telling me about how she did the london triatlon, she even said I was a fast swimmer lol. 

People from my job knew me as a runner a cyclist, and this is who I want to be known as. Even though I am injured from running I am still a runner. I love the fact that my body is getting stronger, my cycling is improving, I'm able to increase the weights, my concentration is improving. I can go out to eat, and not worry. I can drink cocktails and eat pizza well with a salad in the middle:p But I feel that for the first time in my life I am building my future, I am finding out who I am as a person, and I am determined to not let anorexia steal anymore of my life. I am doing things I never thought ever possible, I honestly never thought my life would be anything but living in an anorexic bubble. I never thought I would have a boyfriend, be able to eat what I felt like eating, get to University. But my folks it is possible you can come from the deepest of holes and still find a light at the end of that tunnel. 

After than somehwat long drifted post time for some of my yummy eats. I've been trying to have different breakfasts, it really is my favourite meal of the day and will often have two breakfats one before training and one after. I've been craving bagels recently and am pleased that tescos has my favourite food doctor bagels on buy one get one free!!!

Bagel with jam and Houmous

oats in a jar

chopped apples, peanut butter and banana on rye bread

Lunches have been fairly simple and light, as I've been quite busy so been having more snacky time things. The food doctor pittas are my favourite:

Filled with some goats cheese

Have you ever had a 1to1 swim lesson? 
Favourite pitta filling?