Meet Marie

My cookies went down a treat at work:) I really love working at the moment, has given me such a sense of normality and is challenging how I feel about my body, recovery, and just leading a happy life. I wasn't really sure what to blog about today. So I thought I would share some pictures of my cats. Marie used to live with me at my last house but when I moved I couldn't take her with me so she now lives with my Mum and well I am at my Mums until I go Uni.

Marie:

Marie with our other Siamese Ruby

Oh I love my kitty cuddles

Siamese are possible one of the most human like breeds of cats. Marie is almost like a dog, she plays fetch if you chuck her a toy she will bring it back. She cuddles you like a baby and is possibly the most adorable affectionate cat I have ever come across. 

Breakfast number one chopped apple and nectarine with cottage cheese, muelsi, and a dollop of crunchy peanut butter

This afternoon I went on a bike ride covered a hilly terian with average speed of 16 mph and around 35 miles. It has been so sunny today and made the perfect bike riding weather. 

Looks gross but tasted fab, 1/2 cup oats cooked with natural yogurt and water, then added cocoa powder, chopped banana and almond butter. 

This evening I am of out for an indian. I am feeling a bit nervous not because of the food but because of the social side of it. It is someone from works birthday and I don't know her of anyone particularly well. But I am looking forward to it. Ya know I have probably been to an indian resturant once and that was when I was quite sick and this time will be different. Plus I need to gain. want to get my period back. Think a glass of wine will calm my nerves. 

ahhh my hair is so wild at the moment!!! Hope it stays okay. 

Anyone have any pets? Favorite thing at an indian?

back at Mum's

So I had a bit of a crazy insane day yesterday, not me but one of my house mates I reside with. Well to cut a long story short he suffers with schizophrenia and yesterday before I was about to go out he started shouting, swearing, then it got worse more louder more intense more scary I called up st maurs (the supported housing place that manages where I was) and asked them to come down they were going to call him. It then got worse and he started to shout more till the point he was crying and I couldn't just leave him I was about to leave to go to my mums so as scared as I was I guess my natural instincts kicked in of caring for others and had to see if he was okay I saw him with his head covered in blood and in a quivering mess on the floor so I comforted him and cleaned up his cut and took him in the lounge to talk to him about meaningful things. It felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life waiting for some staff member to come.

Although  fee bad saying this I don't think I can leave in the same house as him anymore. Although he is not dangerous, it was the final straw yesterday. I have a lot of deep rooted issues with men and this brought it all back an flashbacks galore. I went to my Mum's and asked if I can stay for a while I am not sure how long but it feels okay.

I just can't live their, It has caused my ed to get worse. I went back later on to get some things and speak with Matt a support worker who is beyond brilliant in supporting people with MH difficulties. We talked and he helped me find ways to come with the flashbacks and also acknowledge how Adrian reminds me of my past abusers his split personality how he can be so sweet most of the time but when he has his moments they scare the crap out of me.

I have begun to trust men more. Derek who recently died touched me so much he was the first man who I felt comfortable with and most importanly safe with and made me feel so good. Even though he was a close friend he was more like a grandad to me and their is also two male staff I have got close to in a support sense who have restored my faith in mankind.

Anyway enough ramblings. apart from yesterday's drama I cooked a lush chickpea stew which I will post later on today when I get back from dinner with a friend. I bought some almond butter today but I think I prefer cashew butter I may try some on toast as just had some apple and almond butter with it. I am also enjoying being at my Mum's especially with my lovely cats.