RIP

Okay most of this was meant to be published monday afternoon so I drafted it up, however monday afternoon took a turn for the worst where one of my close friends took an overdose and died. She has had mental health problems most of her life and I could relate to her so much we both shared similar childhoods with regards to our past and she had to deal with terrifying flashbacks too. It wasn't her time to go, she was barely 20 and we celebrated togeather. life is so unfair. It has hit me hard, and I am trying to fight through all the negative thoughts I have but it is so hard.

 The rest of what I have intended to post seems irrelevant. I know this isn't a particular happy post, and I didn't want my blog to turn in to an emo sort of diary, but I just need somewhere to vent too and to blog about the loss of a special friend. She will always be in my thoughts, and it will take me a while to overcome this. Depression is a horrible illness and she shouldn't have had to go through all this. I am not going to lie I have myself tried to kill myself on a number of occasions but I don't feel I ever wanted to really die and I don't think Rachel did as well.

RIP my friend

Hope everyone is keeping well