Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I wanna be somebody else

I realised when I went away on my trip to bournemouth for my interview how much I really want to break away from where I live. I feel that it has almost become part of my identity-being eating disordered and when I was away I almost felt like someone different like it was a new start for me. I could even walk down the street drinking a sinny vanilla milkshake on full show something i can never really do is drink calorific drinks in the street.

going to the interview, having a look around bournemoth reallly confirmed how much I really wanted to go to Uni this year. I just want to make something of my life, I want to have fun I want to be given the chance to start my career as an occupational therapist. The area I live in has so many bad memories of being "ill" I know I am not 100% well or even recovered but I don't pretend to me, I wanted to be able to manage the eating disorder and that is what I feel I am doing well sort of. although recently me eating disorder appears to have switched:( but I am getting to know what the triggers are and am working threw them. just wish I could see myself properly in the mirror.

I really hope I do get a place at bournemouth as the campus seemed so nice and the staff were very friendly and seems like they were more friends than tutors from the relationship I saw with the other students. I think that perhaps a smaller uni wold be better for me in terms of my anxiety levels as know I struggled when I first went to college.

well today was college day which went quite well. I do love being at college and being around all the lovely people and having some giggles. well i think I won the dunces hat today! where i scored a grand total of 27% in my maths test. I knew I had miserable failed it. I didnt bother to revise, i will for the nexy one lol it was only a mock.. I was so tired in biology today. travelling is so exhausting and I was on a slow train as got a cheap ticket.

looking forward to tomorrow psychology in the morning and then lunch with a close friend. may look or buy something at the shops too. had my eye on a to shop peter pan style dress. although i should be saving for london lol. i may see what the other shops have and then decide:p

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