Injured again:(

Dear lord I seem to spend half my life recovering from an injury. This one is another reality check for me. I am not quite sure how it happened. But I think it was from Body Pump, and also perhaps as my boyfriend said from pushing my body too much:( That particular day, I went for a swim at 8am, pilates at 9, followed by body pump then body combat. My back felt a little sore on tuesday evening, However the next day it was so painful, I could barely walk without being in so much pain. It was also affecting my breathing. I tried to get an appointment with my sports massager, but couldn't see her until next tuesday. My mum told me to see a chiropractor. Although I don't really have the money at the moment, I knew I had to see someone. He knew what it was from just looking at my back... Thoracic back pain. This was why I was finding it hard to breathe. It was too inflamed to treat their and then but he did put some bio freeeze stuff on to help with the inflammation and told me to ice, rest, and take some anti inflammatories.

It feels a lot better today, well I can breathe without being in pain, and also move without pain. But it is still quite sore and have stayed of the exercise. It is another shocking  reminder of having osteoporosis, sometimes its easy to forget the damage that anorexia has done to my body; weakened bones, kidney problems, digestive problems, and thats just some of the physical side effects. However when I get injured, it then hits me in the face I can't change my past, I can't change the damage that I have done but I have the power to change the future. Those who've been reading my blog know I have been trying to gain weight, which I have managed to do. However I actually haven't weighed myself for a few weeks as have been too scared too. I need to try next week at some point, but I know I have put some on but am scared of seeing it face to face. I know I really need my periods back, and I don't want to have that dreaded hunch back that you see from women with osteoporosis I want to be able to exercise and not be in constant pain. I'm determined to not let the injury get me down. I am having some treatment tomorrow and he says its nothing too serious.

In the meantime, I have been getting as much calcium as possible, and trying to eat as much as I can. I just wish that sometimes the thoughts would leave me alone. Hasn't this illness done enough???!!! Every pain I get in some strange way, helps me. Perhaps its my body telling me that enough is enough, if I want to lead a normal life I can't stay underweight, I need to get my periods back, and need to reach a healthy weight. Despite knowing what I need and want to do, the mirror still lies. I still see myself as big when I look in the mirror, some days are worse than others. I wonder if it will always be this way but I will find ways to live with it. How come I understand my illness so much, but still don't understand it enough to be fully recovered. At the moment, I am faking it till I make it, eating but scared of putting on weight, but still doing it. I know it will be worth it in the end.

However my easter was really lovely. Had the most amazing weekend with my boyfriend. Got spoilt and brought some of my favourite things. I most be the only person that gets excited over having cereal bars as an easter gift!!!

Easter gifts from my boyfriend he knows me very well:p 

I made these protein bars today from this blog, they were so simple and easy to make. I used chocolate protein powder. 

 Homemade protein bars

Cereal bowl contains cottage cheese, greek yogurt, bran flakes, o's munch, apple, and peanut butter.

If I could live of cereal I seriously would, love it so much. Had this creation 3 times today. Plan of action for the weekend is rest, a local food and drink fayre, weekend with my boyfriend, and to not lose my mind through not exercising. Oh and to hope this bloudly back pain gets easier. 

What food could you eat and never get bored of? 

Any advice on overcoming distorted body image? 

WIAW-cooking togeather

. Thanks to Jen @peasandcrayons for this fab idea. Their is some great blog giveaways at the moment laura giving away some hemp protein shake, and Gemma at celery and cupcakes is giving away some fab Sharpham Park cereals.  

For this weeks WIAW, I thought I would share a little task me and my boyfriend did togeather one evening. I usually always do the cooking, its not that I don't like his cooking. He does cook me very nice things:) But I guess my eating disorder likes to stay in control, likes to know what is in what I am cooking, likes to portion it up so I know what is in it. I think I did find it enjoyable to cook togeather, but I guess also challenging. But overall it was enjoyable. 

We cooked a paella, I always thought of a paella as quite a challenging thing to cook but this was actually really easy. You can even make it veggie too. We used prawns and quorn chicken style pieces, but tofu would also work well or even some chickpeas. 

This was the recipe I adapted from the BBC good food website. Although the recipe didn't call for it we used a pinch of saffron thread, and this really made it taste so nice. Strange fact about saffron its more expensive gram for gram than gold!!!!  The rice was really creamy, we used peppers, mushrooms, and red onion; Andy's task was the chopper!! Which he very much enjoyed. 

Of course I added extra greens to my plate:), this was some kale. I've been having it with every meal as its such a great source of calcium, and its also so cheap for a huge bag. 

Well this day of eats is in a bit of a strange order:

. Snacks: 

 Banana with almond butter

Soya nuts

Breakfast

 Protein oats with almond butter and banoffee flavoured protein powder

stuffed aubergines with my chickstew, side of kale and cottage cheese

I think protein oats is probably my favourite post workout meal. It took me ages to work out how to use protein powder in my oats lol, I used to add it at the start. But now I add it right at the end as it tends to mix best that way. 

Do you cook alone or with others? 

How do you use protein powders? 

half marathon training plan

Well I do think 2012 is looking up to be a good year. My half marathon training is going well. I spent some time on the runners world website, and found this great tool that will give you a unique training plan that is suited to your ability and goals. You enter your details about your last race time, how long you currently train for, how hard you want to train and how long you have to train for and it gives you training plan. Mine came out like this TRAINING PLAN. 

Yesterday was my 10 mile run, I was feeling quite good up to mile 4. I think I maybe started out too soon as looking at my garmin my pace started to slow down

10 mile run by sarah_1986@hotmail.co.uk at Garmin Connect - Details

and towards mile 8 started to get some hip pain. But overall I was pleased with it, my average pace was 9.25 per min/mile I've been trying out some different things to munch on the go. Yesterday was some jelly belly sports beans. 

Only trouble was as my hands were quite cold was difficult to nibble on the go so today I have brought some gels to try as they will be easier to take on the go. 

When I came back from the run I was more than ready for some recovery food after quickly downing a recovery shake my appetite was about. My dietician recommended some eggs to me as she said they are one of the best complete source of proteins. I love my dietician she has known me for nearly 6 years!! and has seen me in the very dark stages of anorexia where my diet consisted of lettuce leaves and some tuna. I hated her when I first met her, but it was the ed side of me that hated her as I was in patient and no choice but to eat the food. Gradually over the years and through wanting to recover she has been really helpful. She really gets anorexia and never patronises and finds was for me to slowly introduce foods back through working at my pace. 

Poached egg with baked beans, wholegrain rye bread with some light cream cheese and mushrooms!!!

This was actually  really quick meal I have a microwavable egg poacher (yep lazy I know;) 

Today was an important day for me. After a 3 mile recovery run I turned from a runner

Oh how fetching running gear is!!!!

Into a smart lady!!!

I had a interview for a healthcare assistant job at my local hospital. I think the interview went quite well, tbh I was even proud of myself for getting the interview as the last time I applied I didn't even get that far. I will hear on Friday, the 13th of all dates!!! Let's hope its good news.

So runners what is your ideal snack to eat mid run?? Favourite recovery meal? 

Up in the hills!

So today I had the most awesome bike ride. Once a week I like to do a hilly route to try and improve my hill climbing and I do feel myself getting stronger which is a mixture of adequate nutrition doing some weights at the gym and a case of practise makes perfect. Today was a good effort as I didn't have to use the front middle cog at all in other words I didn't have to use granny gear:p. I went to Haytor which is close to Dartmoor. 

The part I loved most about where I cycled to today was the scenery below are some pictures that I took on my mobile when I was out: ps the horses may look cute but they can also be quite viscous because their wild!

I did about 30 miles and loved every minute of it all, also did some 1 minute intervals on the flat where was cycling on the hoods and reached speeds of 24mph... so I needed some protein when I got back and tried the     

spiritulim strawberry shake and I wasn't a fan it didn't really mix well. I need to invest in a blender of some point. Think I am going to invest in the magic bullet at some point. After the shake I was ready for some lunch which was a tofu stir fry with wholewheat noodles in a terrayki sauce:

Well I am just of to see my CPN and then start work. I am slightly dreading tonight as  I don't finish until 1am!! and then have to cycle back it's only about 2 and 1/2 miles but I am going to be so tired!

What is everyone's favourite form of exercise and why? I love cycling feeling myself get stronger in the saddle, feel my leg muscles improving, getting better at a certain route and doing it faster.