stress fracture and upgrading meals

Oh how the weeks fly, I've had another week of work which has been nice and have all of next week off too!! I am really not wanting to go back to work when I do return I just hope that my new job starts soon. Anyway I saw my GP yesterday as my knee pain still wasn't clearing up. She examined me, and said it sounds like it could be a stress fracture. I mean its not a certain diagnosis as it doesn't show up on scans but because I have osteoporosis, haven't had periods for years and the weight that I am and the high impact of running; it seems probable.

So so upset, annoyed, and  frustrated!!! I am going on the pill again so I can start producing oestrogen. I went on it last summer, but I stopped taking it as was in a good place and wanting to get my periods back naturally and was also feeling sick from taking it. So am going to take it again, and their are other ones if I can't put up with the side effects. I am also trying to gain weight, but this is easier said than done. I next get to see my dietican a week on Monday. I'm trying to get as much calcium as possible and rest my body. My GP told me I couldn't run, I hope one day I can. I miss it so much, and get so jealous even seeing people being able to run on the treadmill. I have another sports massage booked for next Friday so will be able to get some more advice. I've been icing it lots, stretching my IT band as well. Really hope it recovers soon:(

This morning I baked some cookies, which seemed to relax me somewhat.

These were adapted from Katys blog oatmeal raisin cookies I used cashew butter instead of peanut butter and a mashed banana. I dropped one off to my lovely boyfriend at work along with a roll with cheese, ham, and salad.

As I was getting my breakfast I was thinking about how its changed, and how easy it is when increasing what your eating to simply upgrade your current food. My breakfast was simply some just some oats made with water and the odd bit of fruit!! Not particulary that inticing and certainly not enough to see me through a workout. Now my breakfast contains, a bigger portions of oats, flaxseeds (some healthy omega 3 fats!!) , loads of strawberries, some natural yogurt, and honey:

How do you upgrade your foods? 

Occupational health and time of the month

This post may be a bit long winded as I have a lot to gabble about;)

Firstly yesterday was a tad stressful-I had occupational health to visit for my course that is to start in September. I am hopefully going to train to be an occupational therapist a career that I feel passionate can make a real difference to people's lives. Having activities in my life has helped me so much with my condition, and I really feel  that I have a lot to offer people in helping them in their recovery; be that a mental, physical, social, or any difficulty... anyway.

(yes cocktail drinking is an activity!)


I had to see someone at Bournemouth hospital which is a 3 hr car journey, I have been worried about it for months because of my past and current history battling anorexia and depression. Although I am well on my way to recovery and have come on a long way I still need some support and am not 100% recovered. I do hope that one day I can say that I am:) I was told my many it was a formality for them to make sure they have support in place for me. But when I was told that I need to get my GP and CPN to provide further details especially as I mentioned I have been in supported housing for nearly 2 years. I broke down I couldn't control the tears, I want to go to uni so badly I am more than ready from it. I am well aware that the course is stressful but over the past two years I have had more than my far share of stress..

 with my Mum nearly dying from her 3 rd overdose, a close friend dying, my sister taking an overdose. AND... I have had no more admissions, my weight hasn't dropped low. I have been able to get things back on track. 

I do have the support of my GP and CPN and they just have to provide details of my current illness, any events, what support I have been getting, and if my weight has been stable over the past two years. She was also concerned that I hadn't done any work for about 5 years, its a good job I do have a job now. However on a plus she did email the university to ask if they can reserve a place in halls for me. I am trying not to think the worst that I won't be allowed to start, I feel more than ready to go to university.

In other news ( women's stuff mentioned)


A few weeks ago I mentioned about trying out the contraceptive pill. I visited my GP and she prescribed it to me as I have a lot of concerns about my bone health (have osteoporosis) and about one day being able to have kids. So she suggested I go on one. I was feeling quite sick from taking it and If I was gaining weight I wanted to get my periods back naturally as that would mean my body would be healthy:) so I stopped taking it I took it for maybe two weeks. Anyway this morning I had a bleed. How I felt...shocked, scared, relieved, pleased It means that hopefully my bones are not degrading as we speak and that I am able to have kids.

 I didn't expect it tbh as I only took the pill for two weeks.  However I know its not getting my period back naturally. I am going to speak to my GP next week and ask her advice on whether I should continue taking it or not. Today did feel a bit surreal I haven't had my period for about 5 years and obviously had no stuff, so had to get the bus in to town, get some pads and tampons. I remember I did use to wear tampons but really wouldn't have a clue how they urm work so I have used pads today. Oh my I am sorry if this is tmi but I need somewhere to talk about it. I felt like a 15 year old girl again. 

Which finally brings me today, where I saw my CPN which helped eased my mind about occupational health. Then went to the gym. Managing to run again on the treadmill, going to start off slowly this time Then I met a friend for a drink. We met at an EDA support group, she was ill for about 4 years then she just decided that she didn't want to be this way anymore and started to eat again. She is now fully recovered and takes part in triathlons. We both talked about how exercise has been beneficial in eating disorder recovery, yes I would exercise when I deep in anorexia but that was just walking miles and miles.

 But you can't run or cycle on no food. I want to get stronger at cycling and running and know you can't do that when your underweight and not eating enough. Exercise makes me feel so damn good I love feeling myself get faster and improving. She inspired me to look in to doing triathletes. I mean I cycle, I can run, and swim and maybe it will be a good laugh. She says the ones she does are more warm ups for the serious atheletes who do iron mans. We talked about how great life is no longer being controlled by an eating disorder. However I did feel a bit idk shocked that she just could snap out of it just like that I sometimes wish that would have been the case for me. But I guess recovery is a journey?

Tonight I cooked a lemony lentil dahl:

I then decided it looked quite lonely in the bowl so roasted some butternut squash and more mushrooms

Will upload the recipe tomorrow. Got some portions to freeze too.

How has exercise helped you? Doesn't have to be ed related 
Any experiences of university?