cycling my way to the top

hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, I have had a pretty awesome week and the weekend is going ace too.

I've had two exciting things that I can't wait to share with you. The first thing happened on Thursday when I was at the pool, went to a general swim (no lanes), wasn't actually overly busy so got in about 40 minutes of swimming. When I ws getting changed this little girl came up to me and said "How do you swim so fast"? lol okay she was only 7 years old but it made me smile a lot.

Then the next day, I went on a 2 hour ride and their was loads of other cyclists out which after a few with strange helmets passed me by realised it was a time trial. I so want one of those cool helmets, of course I want this pink one:

Alot of the cyclists I saw out had helmets to match their bikes and clothes. Anyway I was in awe of how fast they were racing, on my way back from my ride I saw this British cycling car pass by me then around a few minutes later the car stopped at this guy got out his car and pulled his hand out indicating me to stop. I did I actually thought I was in trouble lol. Well the guy said to me why am I not out training with my local cycling group. Told him that I actually going out tomorrow:p Mentioned I was training for a triathlon and he told me to get into road racing, said he has seen me out a lot. Then he gave me his card:

 of course had to take a picture and post it on facebook:p

Man the adrenilin I had on the way back was insane. Never felt so pleased with myself, my average for the 30 mile ride was 17.4. Felt awesome.

I'm excited for tomorrow when me and my boyfriend are going out with my local cycling group. Today has consisted of lots of rest and carb loading. We cooked one of my favourite meals 

 Paella!!!

 Wholemeal hot cross bun

 Sweet potato with cottage cheese and peanut butter

Wholewheat bagel with philedelphia and chocolate spread and some jam and peanut butter

This was actually the first time I have tried peanut butter on a sweet potato. I have seen it on many blogs and have I admit been scared to try it, because of my fear of fats. But I've realised that fats are needed to be healthy and that the ED can bugger off:p Plus it tasted really nice. 

Tried any new foods recently? 

Any Easter plans? 

WIAW-Mothers day

This WIAW is based on mothers day. For those of us in the UK last Sunday was mothers day; where we celebrate our love for our mummies:) I love my Mum so much and don't know what I would do without her. I will really miss her when I go away to Bournemouth. I treated her to a michael Jackson top, a photo with a picture of me and her in it:

I also got her this journal, called from you to me. My mum has quite bad memory problems, it has gotten worse over the past year to the point where she has sent money to people and not even realised what she was doing. She's still having tests to get a proper diagnosis its not dementia, but is most likely caused by previous overdoses, as a recent scan showed a decrease in her brain matter. So I am always trying to find things that can help with her memory and this seemed ideal; its basically something for her to fill in to tell me all about her life,and what I was like as a child. Their is more info here if anyone wanted to check it out. gifts. 

After I had exchanged gifts. I had my breakfast; I tried the Philadelphia cream cheese and cadburys chocolate and it was so so nice!!!, the other side was honey

Then had a pressing date with my lovely boyfriend. This involved a cycle ride with a tea stop. We usually stop halfway through the ride, the place we planned to go to was actually closed!!! But knowing the area fairly well we cycled to the Cranks Resturant in Totnes. Its a quite famous vegetarian resturant.  Andy had his usual cream tea  which I had a piece off, and I had some wholemeal toast and jam. after the stop we did a loop, overall I think we did 25 miles. Was a fairly easy ride for me, as I seem to climb like a goat in my new bike:p 

Came home showered, and turned from a sweaty cyclist to a less sweaty cyclist. I love wearing red. Think it looks quite nice with blonde hair. 

I had booked us in a local resturant, that is always so hard to get booked in too. At xmas they get fully booked by AUGUST!!!!! They do a really great carvery, and it also pleases me as they do my favourite veggie nut roast:

I had it with a huge side of vegetables:

 Okay this is where I felt the ed was starting to annoy me. I do love the nut roast, but I kind of wanted something different, but wasn't sure how it would turn up, what would be in it etc.  Sometimes the internal battle can be so tormenting,  I just wish I could go out for a meal and choose what I wanted not what the ed wanted. Although it was a really nice meal, and the nut roast is one of the most nicest things that I have tried. It was also really nice to spend some time with my Mum as we don't often get to do, as she never goes out.

Dinner was a butternut squash rissoto that I had made previously, I accidently forgot to take it out the lid, well I did think it would be oven proof clearnly not haha

It was edible though once I had transfered it to a plate, had it with  some goats cheese on top, a veggie sausage and a load of vegetables. 

Before bed I had one of my favourite breakfasts:

Dorset cereals gingerbread oats with peanut butter

I have finally been able to run again!!! I went to a running shop on Monday, and got some amazing advice. I have been in the wrong trainers I am going to do a post about this soon, but I spent nearly two hours trying to find the right shoe. 

Do you have a snack before bed? Whats your favourite? I think mine is usually some form of cereal. 

Did you do anything nice for mothers day? 

Swim lesson and feeling hopefull

Woop, its the weekend!!! I am especially happy that it is the weekend because, I am no longer working in a pub!!! No more drunken louts shouting at me, no more not having chance to pee because the bar is so busy. I did hand my notice in early, as I just couldn't cope with working anymore evening shifts especially on a Saturday night.It was starting to effect my mental health and some shifts I was going home crying to my Mum as feel so out of place at work, and was hard to manage eating enough as we weren't even allowed breaks for a six hour shift.  My CRB is now in the printing stage so it shouldn't be too long away, and is nice to have a few weeks off until I start my new job as a health care assistant which I really can't wait for. Want to be doing a job that is enjoyable and I really enjoy helping people.

On Wednesday I had my first swim lesson, I was pretty nervous beforehand... even more so when she asked me to swim some lengths. My stroke was awful I was out of breath after doing less than 50 metres!!!! I bet she thought "This is gonna be hard!!!". The first part of the lesson was spent building my confidence up in the water, my bad habit was not putting my head in right. So spent around 10 minutes working on just gliding in the water:
So

Basically this, it felt strange at fisrt but I soon got the hang of looking face down in the water We had to firstly get my position right out of the water. The rest of the lesson was spent doing some drills with a kickboard, with one arm on the float the other down by my leg and kicking on the side. Then the arms were brought in, with one arm doing the front crawl. We focused also on my breathing, and lastly was my head action and trying to get me to body roll. When I lift my head to breathe I am not body rolling, I was SINKING haha. So at least I know where I was going wrong. However at the end of the lesson she said she could already see an improvement in my form, I apparently have the speed but just not the technique, and need to work on my arm strength. I also did some backstroke drills but not using my legs just my arms which was really hard work!!! 

I've been to the pool everyday since my lesson, and feel that I am getting the hang of body rolling, and trying not to reduce my drag when I lift my head out of the water. I've also been using more arm weight machines in the gym and did a body pump and combat class today. I actually feel like I am actually swimming, not just paddling in the water hehe. However my swim endurance is rubbish compared to the bike. Can easily go for a 45 mile cycle ride and think nothing of it. But I can barely do less than a mile in the pool. Even after swimming a few lengths have to stop for a minute or two. Swimming I swear makes me the hungriest out of all three, and I'm only in the pool for 30 minutes!!!!

Identity

I need to talk about something eating disordered so feel free to skip by. I think I have spoken about this before, but I feel what kept me so controlled and ill by the anorexia was that I was scared of losing my identity.I didn't know who I was without the anorexia, I was so scared of losing something that practically nearly killed me, but I felt I had nothing in my life.

However right now I feel quite damn good about my recovery, my future. I now longer see myself as just my eating disorder. Admittedly it is still their, and I probably know that to some degree it will always be their. But I am starting to see myself as an athelete, a person, a student. People are knowing me know as an athelete. I was in Tescos the other day and bumped into a guy from the bike shop I got my bike from he is also a triathelete and does spinning classes and felt so good to speak to him about bikes, cycling, training. I did lol at myself as felt like a typical athlete walking around tescos with a load of bagels and bananas. Where in the past I guess i have felt like a "typical anorexic" walking around with some apples and salads in my hands. I know which one I would like to be associated with:p And today after my swim session, I was chatting to this women I think we were talking about the lanes in the pool and she was telling me about how she did the london triatlon, she even said I was a fast swimmer lol. 

People from my job knew me as a runner a cyclist, and this is who I want to be known as. Even though I am injured from running I am still a runner. I love the fact that my body is getting stronger, my cycling is improving, I'm able to increase the weights, my concentration is improving. I can go out to eat, and not worry. I can drink cocktails and eat pizza well with a salad in the middle:p But I feel that for the first time in my life I am building my future, I am finding out who I am as a person, and I am determined to not let anorexia steal anymore of my life. I am doing things I never thought ever possible, I honestly never thought my life would be anything but living in an anorexic bubble. I never thought I would have a boyfriend, be able to eat what I felt like eating, get to University. But my folks it is possible you can come from the deepest of holes and still find a light at the end of that tunnel. 

After than somehwat long drifted post time for some of my yummy eats. I've been trying to have different breakfasts, it really is my favourite meal of the day and will often have two breakfats one before training and one after. I've been craving bagels recently and am pleased that tescos has my favourite food doctor bagels on buy one get one free!!!

Bagel with jam and Houmous

oats in a jar

chopped apples, peanut butter and banana on rye bread

Lunches have been fairly simple and light, as I've been quite busy so been having more snacky time things. The food doctor pittas are my favourite:

Filled with some goats cheese

Have you ever had a 1to1 swim lesson? 

Favourite pitta filling?