WIAW- the random one

Sorry to have gone all MIA on my blog, I had a really busy week last week. Which involved eating at my favourite sushi place

Spending the weekend with my boyfriend, and his family at a little place called Kenilworth and dressing up as Alice in Wonderland with my other half as the mad hatter: 

Don't we look cute;)

I also got very broody ( Don't worry Andy not for a few years yet;) ) 

Under 1 month old, I wanted to take her home!!! 

From holding this baby, also gave me motivation with the ed to gain more weight so I can get my periods back. I am starting to find my body image difficult especially when I look at some pictures of me. But I am reminding myself of all the things that come with being at a higher weight. 

My WIAW today is a bit random, well my dinner is anyway. 

Protein Oats 50g oats, 25g banoffee protein powder and 1 tsp of peanut butter. 

Food Doctor pitta with cottage cheese, and side of kale and carrots

Random Dinner: Squash, broccoli, yorkshire pudding, veggie burger and cream cheese, falafel and pasta with cream cheese

It was sort of like a pic and mix dinner:p 

Snacks consisted of dried fruit mixes, home made banana bread bar, and a bowl of cereal before bed

I have also been able to have more runs outside, and my swimming is improving. My swim instructor said I no longer need lessons its just a case of practising. I think I may go along to a group lesson once a week though as am still finding my breathing hard. 

Do you like lots of little things? I love mini sizing everything so I can have a little bit of what I fancy

Have you ever dressed up? 

Running shoes

I hope everyone in the UK is enjoying the wonderful weather today, is so nice to not wear multiple layers to leave the house in, and be able to get some vitamin D I always feel so much happier in the summer!!

This is the 3^rd pair of running shoes I have bought in around 6 months!!! And its not because they have been overused. The first pair I got was bought at the end of last summer when I was first starting to take up running, I went to a sports shop. They put me on this machine and told me I over pronanted so needed a stability shoe. After having a brief relapse and stopping running I started again around November time, started to get ITB problem. Few months later  I visited a specialist running shop they didn’t do a proper gait analayis just looked at the way I walked said no way I was an over pronator so got a neutral shoe. Then had a stress fracture. I don’t know if it was the shoe that caused it, more like an overuse injury, or perhaps a mixture  of the both. But I didn’t want to start running properly until I had a proper gait analysis done. 

So I visited this specialist running shop after doing some googling, they did a gait analysis. And OMG the guy who I spoke to was seriously amazing, even if I went away I would come back to the same shop to see him. He firstly “chatted” to me asking me about the injuries, past history. I told him that I used to dance, and about my issues with osteoporosis and anorexia. He said that the shoe I had was too heavy for  me, he made reference to my frame size and said I needed a shoe that gave me flexibility in my feet. 

We did a few squat tests and he did pick up that I have fairly weak hips, I do have osteoporosis in my hips so this may be the reason. Then was running on the treadmill barefoot, it felt strange at first, this was also videoed so he could see my running style. I am apparently a forefoot striker. When I was running on the treadmill it showed that I didn’t over pronate, however when I ran on the treadmill with shoes on I did. After trying pair of pair of trainers on where the guy could tell straight away if the shoe wasn’t right. We settled for a neutral shoe, as many of the stability shoes were too heavy for me and I didn’t have any flexibility when running in them. Because I am a fore foot striker I need a shoe that have excellent forefoot cushioning, flexibility, and stability.  I knew when I was running in these

Adidas Supernova glide 4

That they felt right, I could move my feet freely and just felt so light in them. I must have spent nearly two hours chatting to the guy and finding the right shoes!!! And I am so glad I did. I feel more confident when I am running too. It also didn't cost me anything to have the gait analysis done, they charge £10 but if you buy a pair of shoes it costs you nothing. 

On Wednesday was my first little run in them. As I’m training for a triathlon I did a 20 mile bike ride followed by a 1 mile run. It was also the first time running straight of the bike, it felt strange for the first minute or two. But once I was running it felt so good, I can’t describe how wonderful it felt to run. I came back downed some strawberry soya milk followed by one of my paellas.

This week has been a pretty good week, had a nice catch up with a friend in nandos,  had a good swim lesson, managed a rest day yesterday, had a trip to waitrose with my boyfriend and treated myself to some food doctor granola its so good!!!, especially over porridge and banana:

I am actually quite relieved their isn’t a Waitrose too close by as I would seriously spend far too much money!!! I've also been doing some baking,  these 

Peanut butter protein bombs. 

And these

Taste just like the banana bread nakd bars

I’m looking forward to the weekend too as have my Boyfriend over and tonight we are making bellini cocktails. These are my favourite kind, I have expensive taste:p  although not too many as we are going on a ride together tomorrow morning. I've just come back from a 57 mile cycle ride over many hills, my laps were around 16mph, it just shows how strong my body is getting, and will hopefully continue to get strong. I am trying to use this as motivation, as my body image is starting to get difficult again, I'm looking in the mirror an not liking what I see. Determined to plod on though, despite what the ed tells me. 

Have you ever had a gait analysis? 

any plans for the weekend?

Are you  a cocktail drinker? 

I have been absent from blogging for a while, mainly because things have been quite difficult. I have found out that I won’t be able to commence uni this September. I have passed occupational health but the University are insistent that I cannot start until the following year. I have called, practically begging to see if they could change their mind as feel more than ready to start but they seem to think that because I saw a dietician back in March and that I have just left supported housing that I will find the course too challenging, not the academic part but the practical placement. I disagree but who am I too say!?

I am currently trying the fake it till I make it. Trying to look on the bright side of things, that it will mean I can save up, get some experience, good at cooking, improve my fitness levels, have some fun. But then there is the otherside of it where I feel that I have failed that I have let myself down. Then there is the scary part of my age and how I feel old, that the ed has stolen so many years of my life; which to be fair it had. But I am determined to not let it steal anymore from me.

So right now I am going to be working in wetherspoons which isn’t too bad, and in the meantime I have applied to work on the NHS bank and also going to apply for a temporary auxiliary nurse position on a ward. I am also going to join a running group. I really want to meet people with similar interests to me and exercise is something I really enjoy and would be great to meet people through that. I am also going to save up for a better bike, mine was the lower end of an entry level bike and I really want a new one.

My current bike

Well I did have some fun the other day and visited alton towers and stayed in the hotel too!! It was really great to let my hair down although I probably let it down a little too much. I loved the air ride best. I also went swimming in a sort of water park, and I even wore a bikini for the first time in about 6 years!! and I felt okay in it. My friend said to me that I was getting a  pack!! and I actually though my stomach was toned and that my thighs aren't really that bad even though the ed at times has told me otherwise. 

Okay I promise I don't just drink cocktails when I go out!! 

I learnt a lesson too, that I really need to learn how to control my drink more I just don't know when to stop and that although I am 25, mentally I am a lot younger. I feel that through being ill with anorexia I haven’t had time to properly grow up and right now I am learning that stage. It is quite difficult as I almost feel stuck in a nieve 18 year olds mindset and really do not feel 25 I don’t have the same experiences as what a 25 year old has had. Even though I had to grow up quickly in terms of a practical sense as my Mum has been ill with mental health problems I haven’t had the same life experiences with men, socialising, work etc.

I suppose right now I am coming around to the thought of taking a year out to properly get myself well for University so I am ready to face anything!! I know that going backwards is not an option. I could have quite easily said screw it all and let my negative thoughts take over.. But I refuse to let anorexia take anymore of my life away. I will be trying out lots of different recipes, and also improve my general fitness. Building up for a 10 k. I know I

 am not 100% recovered and still have some things to work on, but know I will get their with time. 

anyone had to take a year out from university because of the their health? I am on the look out for new some snack ideas. Currently been on the nakd and trek bars and oatcakes with nut butters. But trying to expand my horisons.