Coffee's are on me!

So today was my first shift at wetherspoons and I spent the day learning how to do coffee's I already make them at home with my own coffee maker but I heat the milk in the microwave... so now I am also a coffee barsita;) I am a coffee addict myself so already knew all the drinks they do. The rest of the day was spent putting breakfasts and a roast dinners through the till and pulling pints!

For lunch today I made a salmon salad with some buckwheat I got this grain mix that takes 8 minutes it was one of those things that I bought ages ago but forgot about...

This was the salad that I made:

Underneath is a mix of spinach, lettuce leaves, romaine, grated carrot, cucumber and cherry tomatoes.
Followed by these crisps by snapz;

They were okay but not my fav ones think I prefer the beetroot ones they do. The ingredients list is 

• carrot
• Starch syrup (potato) less than 2%
• Dried capsicum extract
• Natural paprika flavour

Today at work one of the managers who are all lovely mentioned about how the apron was miles to big for me and that I needed a smaller shirt they gave me a size ten one. I found quite embarrassed about the fact and very nearly said sorry, in the past I would have loved the attention but I really didn't want it at all I want people to see me as Sarah not as the "thin one" the girl with "issues". I haven't told them about my ed and want to keep in that way I mean if they ask I will tell them as I am not ashamed by having mental health problems. But I don't think I look obviously anorexic I guess cause I know I have been smaller when I was iller and I am now in recovery and trying as hard as I can to beat it. 

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. Whats your favourite coffee if you drink it? I am a soya latte girl

I don't think I can listen to my body:(

So I am hoping this isn't too much of a depression negative post. But for the past few weeks I have not been calorie counting and trying to listen to my body more and it has been going okay but I am finding it really challenging.

For instance this morning I woke up really weak and lethargic, really hungry too and I know it was because I didn't eat as much as what I should have done after my long ride and then on my feet for working for 10 hours.

 I think I need to know daily amounts more. I have a dietician appointment on Monday and I am going to speak to her more about this cause although I don;t want to obsess over calories I am not at the stage where I can eat what I want and not freak out cause I find when I do it triggers me to  well I am not going to say what but its not a healthy thing to do. So I am hoping after a few weeks of working out my BMR needs I will be able to listen to my body more.

It's just so hard at times challenging the negative thoughts that the ed gives me and although most of the time I am winning that battle I just so badly want the ed gone...

But in the end this means gaining to a healthy weight. I worry a lot about my bones, my period, I am nearly 25 and that thought is terrifying how many years I have possibly missed out on but I guess I can't dwindle on the past but focus on the future. 

So in other news, I have a busy day tomorrow with going totnes with a friend and then working in the evening. I am doing a meal plan for the next few days to keep me on track till I see my dietican.

Well for lunch today I had a nice salad from sainsburys they have a pic and mix salad bar in this mix is a boiled egg, feta, mixture of salad leaves, some black rice and quinoa, Bulgar wheat in a beetroot dressing, some nuts and dried fruit,and spicy chickpea mix. 

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Do you find it hard to listen to your body?