my birthday!!!

So I have been absent for a few days but that has been because I have been so busy. It was birthday yesterday and I had probably the best birthday I have had in a long while. Most of my birthday over the past few years have been horrid as most of those have been spent in hospital! Although I was dreading it because I was turning 25! and I can't tell you how old I feel and it sometimes saddens me when I think of the years wasted because of the ed, but I guess those years have shape the person I am today.

It was the first birthday since I was probably 18 that I felt alive again, like I can see a future ahead of me that for once I am happy. I was amongst friends and for years I have isolated myself where I guess I told myself that I didn't need friends as I had anorexia as a friend well a devil really. Also I felt comfortable in my own body and I felt pretty.

FOr my birthday I went to pizza express where i had one of their allegra pizzas it has a hole in the middle filled with a salad, my pizza contain mozzerella cheese, courgettes, mushrooms, peppers, and I had extra goats cheese. For desert I had a gelato desert with nougat, praline and marsala wine. It was all so nice, I love pizza I should make an effort to eat it more. 


I feel very positive at the moment about my recovery and my future. The ed is very much starting to loosen its grip on me and I feel that I am winning the battle. Today at work I had a meal their for the first time I work in a pub so get 50% of their meals and I had usually been bringing my own in. But I really wanted a roast so had a portabello mushroom and chickpea loaf with veg, stuffing, and 2 huge yorskire puds! I swapped the potatoes for yorksire!!

I have had an all day hangover so not good. however I did try a toffee apple cider.